S2 E51: Regulators! Relearning Emotions Post Injury with Elle Gargano
Managing emotions can stump anybody. The ante is upped post injury since trouble regulating our emotions is a common side effect of brain injury.
Elle Gargano and Eryn talk about their struggles and lessons learned through their experiences with emotional dysregulation. They get into it all; the anxiety, the ‘tantrums,’ trauma responses, and panic along with strategies they’ve found to be helpful in managing emotions. This talk is an open and honest expression on what it is like living with emotional dysregulation; join us to learn and empathize.
In this episode:
We talk about our brain injury anniversaries
Emotional regulation
Post injury it can be really hard to be in control of your reactions. Things that used to not bother you or things that you could easily let go become much harder to tolerate.
The angry toddler or reverting to a child like state—temper tantrum-like times that happen due to problems being able to emotionally regulate
Can be easier to lose control when you’re overtired or anxious
The trauma and brain injury have your nervous system at an already heightened state. It takes less triggers to lead to a blow up.
Gaining awareness of your triggers helps you anticipate times that will bother you so you can plan a different response. Awareness allows you to make a choice
As anxiety builds, your tolerance of inconveniences decreases and you’re at risk of losing control or freaking out.
We talk about times we had public freak outs
In the moment it can be really hard to calm down. It seems like you’re justified or you might be looking for a release or a fight.
Getting through emotionally triggering times:
In the calm times, try to create a sense of peace in yourself; a feeling of being safe in your body.
When you’re out in the world and triggers are happening, pause and try to return to that safe space inside of yourself. Repeat the mantra that “I am safe in my body.” Try to return to that place of safety inside yourself.
Trying to get back to your life after injury
We may push or force ourselves back into activities that we aren’t ready for
It can create a illusion that you are the same and fine when you aren’t
We struggle with wanting to do everything the same as pre-injury
To-do-lists may be really hard to prioritize, finish, or focus fully on
Consider chunking out your lists into smaller tasks with less to do on each day
Writing each item of your list on separate sticky notes may allow you to focus on one task at a time rather than being overwhelmed by a big, long list
Managing your energy after injury
You have to be really thoughtful post injury of where and how you use your energy
You take inventory of your life–is what you’re doing benefiting you? Is it worth doing or just part of the rat race?
Learning to do what is right for you rather than just what you think society expects
Emotional dysregulation in relationships
Your tone may not match the words or message you are trying to portray
It causes problems with communication and can lead to arguments
The arguments tend to be about something other than what triggered the fight. If you find yourself arguing, try to take a step back to identify the real problem so you talk about what it actually bothering you
You relearn how to communicate and keep learning together
Managing emotional dysregulation
Learn to identify your feelings and express them so they don’t build up and turn into a tantrum
Learning your Push-Crash cycle–what is the threshold before meltdown? You learn to work up to the line (push) without going over (crash)
Give yourself grace, some days you might crash and that’s ok
Therapy, mindfulness, meditation, and mindset are helpful strategies to help manage
Medication can help get you to a place where you can be mindful and use your strategies
Caregivers
Remember that they need help too
They have also experienced trauma
Post Traumatic Stress, Anxiety, and Panic Attacks
Elle explains what it feels like to have post traumatic stress
Even though rationally you know you are fine, your body can have a different response
Medications can be very helpful to get you to a point where you can be mindful about yourself and make smart choices. When you are dysregulated you may need meds to get you into a more regulated space so you can use strategies.
Pills aren’t magic, there is still a lot of work that goes into improving your mental health.
You are the listener of all the voices in your head, not the speaker. You are a listener observing what is going on in your head; you can make a choice about what is real and what you want to act on. (Glennon Doyle, We Can Do Hard Things)
A conscious observer: when things are going on, can you remove yourself, pause, and make a choice about how you want to act rather than react?
A physiologic response doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you. Your body is trying to keep you safe. You aren’t doing anything wrong if you’re experiencing post traumatic stress, anxiety, and panic
We can do hard things!
Brave the Label
Coming this year in March or April, Elle’s clothing line is expanding
The clothes are an exterior reminder of how brave you are.
The bravery is already in you!
We all have bravery and resilience
Links to any resources mentioned:
Elle’s first episode on Making Headway Podcast
Jennifer Freeburn’s episode on fatigue
We Can Do Hard Things podcast
Reach out to:
Ellegargano on Instagram
brave_the _label on Instagram
Stroke Recovery with Motus Nova: https://motusnova.com/makingheadway/
The Headache Nutritionist: https://www.headachenutritionist.com/
Free webinar, Say Goodbye to Persistent headaches: www.headacheshandled.com/training
Eryn on IG @eryn_makingheadwaypodcast
MHP on IG @makingheadwaypodcast
Go to our website www.makingheadwaypodcast.com for full show notes and resources
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